.....everybody hurts.....sometimes......

Depression, stress, anxiety call it what you will, it can be caused by many things in your life. What you might think of as trivial might be the trigger for something within someone else. I've suffered from depression in the past, it was a dark period in my life which I hopefully have now overcome. It wasn't until I spoke to someone about my feelings and my less than acceptable dark thoughts that I realised I had a problem. I was prescribed medication which I refused to take because I'd heard too many stories about that leading to other issues. In my case I had to change jobs and get away from what was the cause which luckily for me worked.   Of course this may not work for others as their problems could be caused by a number of things that perhaps have built up over time. As I have got older I try to be more relaxed and positive but we all have our bad days. Perhaps I shouldn't blog about such a personal issue, but that's where I went wrong in the first place, bottling things up until it was nearly too late.

What a terrible few days weather wise, rain, wind and then a bit more. I was determined to go out and of course had planned a route. When I woke it was still a bit dull, I checked the local news and social media to check conditions. Pictures of flooded streets in the town and stories of blocked roads east of town but no mention of west. I got ready and headed out on my planned route, the roads were covered in debris and big puddles lined my route to Porlock. I must thank that Volvo driver for going through one particular puddle at sixty as I went through it, cheers ! I got to Porlock only to find signs telling the me the Toll road was closed so I decided to head down to the Weir instead. I only got half way and found a bloody great puddle which I didn't really fancy heading through so decided to head back to town and do a loop.

No I'm not going the other way....

Big puddle round the bend....

Glad I got out but glad I didn't venture anywhere too rural as lanes around here can be a bit rough at the best of times, here's the Strava bit......

......If everything could ever feel this real forever......

I'm a cyclist, I like riding bikes, I'm not a mountain biker, I'm not a roadie I'm just a cyclist. I do however have two bikes, one with skinny tyres and rim brakes for zipping(!) about on tarmac and one with chunky tyres and disc brakes for venturing off the beaten track. After the slightly damp recent weather in these parts I thought I'd chose the latter and go on a little adventure :) It was wet, mulchy, muddy, rocky, slippy but great fun even a puncture didn't dampen my spirits. I'll let the pictures do the talking.

First obstacle of the day....

Some of the locals...

Headspace...

Picture book puncture repair

Downhill and home...

A great ride out in a beautiful place, sometimes you just have to get out and ride :)

Here's the Strava bit if you want to know where I went..

...on a cold and misty morning....

Since I did the Cheddar sportive back in September I've had a bit of a mind shift when it comes to my cycling and my attitude towards it. I was getting too wrapped up in my speed and stats and getting annoyed with myself for being fat and slow. After some kind words from a couple of friends I kind of realised I was doing okay, getting quicker slowly but surely and the weight was coming off to. I now try and enjoy my cycling more, relax and just go with the flow, still try my best but chill a bit as my eldest often tells me to.

I'd planned a route, the weather was misty and the lazy rain started as I got the bike out of the shed. It's only a bit of weather, I'd wrapped up and was feeling good so why not, I'll only get wet and cold, character building. Out towards Porlock and my glasses were soon in my back pocket with the drizzle and low cloud making it impossible to see anything through them. Grey, just a blanket of grey everywhere, no panoramic views today just mist and a bit more mist. Toll road again, no racing today, no chasing others, just me and the squirrels, a buzzard and even a stoat or is it a weasel and a little old man out for stroll but just me. Nice as ever, autumn colours, falling leaves, misty air, can't beat it, I'm very lucky ;)

I got up onto the moors and the air was a bit colder and after the sticky hill from Whitstone Post I was feeling a bit chilly. I thought I'd better take my glasses off because they were misting up then I realised they were in my pocket still and it was just the mist getting thicker ! It was eerily quiet on the moor and apart from my puffing all you could here was birdsong, at this point I did question my sanity. To get off the moor a bit quicker I decided to head down the Wellshead Road which wasn't as bad as I thought it might be and then onto Exford.

Exmoor...it's there honest...

A stop for a drink and a snack at the bus shelter and to readjust layers then up the hill and route decisions. I was warm again after puffing up the hill out of the village so decided to stick with plan A and head to Winsford which is a nice quick and quiet road to head along. Onto the valley road and a new climb to try, Quarme lane, about two miles of unknown ascent. It starts off steady, then a steep bit,then steady, then another longer steeper bit you get the idea. It took me a couple of go's but I didn't walk but the visibility didn't help because I couldn't see the crest of the steep bits, well that's my excuse. After that it was downhill time, the last downhill of the beast which I like heading down, see, method to the uphill madness.

..up it is then....

I was a good boy today and took it steadier than I did last time but still had fun on what was a very wet and muddy descent. A steady spin back towards home but I swerved the last little hill around the back of Dunster as my legs were feeling it a bit. I was cold and wet by the time I got home but I quite enjoyed being out in the murkiness probably because it was so quiet and peaceful ;)

....all downhill from here...trust me....

Here's the Strava bit....http://app.strava.com/activities/27939499

.....I’ll Take These Storms Away, start a brand new story.....

I had the pleasure of the Cycling Mayor joining me today for a spin around Exmoor, Jennifer is just coming back from some enforced rest, which must have took some forcing for a bit of a cycling addict. I won't go on about her problems just read her blog, I'd hate to start sounding like a stuck record, you remember those, black discy things and you had to put a ten pence piece on the top of the needle to stop it jumping.

Things looked a bit dodgy when she arrived there was even a hint drizzle in the air, layers applied off we went. A scenic spin through the grounds of Dunster Castle and onto the road to Wheddon Cross and we soon warmed up and the sun came out. A quick stop to remove layers and on up the hill, I promised nice hills today and the climb to Wheddon Cross is, nice surface under the autumnal trees. I puffed my way up as usual though, I felt good, no aches or pains today so the stretches I'm doing must be working. A breather and a chat at the bus stop and then the second nice climb of the day over Dunkery. This must be one of my favourite ups, apart from the loopy horse, nice and gentle and outstanding views a far as the eye can see and only the odd idiot driving too quickly. A quick descent off the hill but the wonderful colours of Cloutsham Ball were a welcome distraction and the descent down Crook Horn hill was relatively clear of mulchy leaves but a bit slippy at the bottom. A quick spin through the villages and then the blast home once I'd puffed up the last little hilly bit. A really good ride out with good company on a rather nice day.

Here's the strava bit...http://app.strava.com/activities/27785218

No pics today but I expect the Mayor will have some on her blog so read that one too :)

...kingdom of rust......

I can't quite remember when eldest first started to come riding with me, he's nearly seventeen now and has been riding something ever since he was able to. He started off by whizzing around the bmx track on his 16"Action Man bike and progressed up through wheel sizes as he grew. I think his first off road ride was up North Hill and straight back down the zig zag tracks to the harbour. I always remember his smile that day, he absolutely loved it and never looked back. Over the years we've gone from me pushing two bikes up hills to him riding up almost anything and leaving me behind but at least even I do a lot less pushing these days.

We haven't been out for a good off road blast on our own for ages, one of the lads he works with likes to ride so he's been hitting the trails with people more of his own age. Eldest had a plan for a route but that was before he slept so his epic ride wasn't quite so epic but still good fun. A blast along the bike path to Carhampton and apparently I was going too quick ! I need to chill apparently ? Eldest told me he'd put on half a stone recently so I think that was his excuse for me leaving him behind. First hill of the day and again I was in the wrong for not stopping to have a breather, this is a hill I used to push up, but not any more.

First hill of the day..

Some of this ascent was proving tricky with all the leaves, mud and slippery rocks making it hard work on the steeper bits but eldest disappeared up it with relative ease. A spin along the top and a stop to admire the stunning views all around us and the autumn colours in the trees. I'm really lucky to live here, I don't think some people who live around here really appreciate the beauty around them.

A quick wet and rocky descent to Dunster and then the ascent of Grabbist hill which again needed a degree of concentration due to boggy bits, wet roots and rocks. There is a steep climb at the end which we've both managed to ride up in the past but not today. It was hard to get traction in the mulch and we just kept spinning out so resorted to a push up, just like the old days ;)

Along the ridge of Knowle hill, with it being exposed and a bit on the sandy side it tends not to get too boggy so progress was easier, spinning along in the sunshine. A stop to chat to a nice man on a motor bike who was lost and then the descent back down to the road at Bratton. There is a myriad of tracks on the hill and you seem to find new ones or old ones you haven't ridden for years which we did today. It was a leafy, boggy, slippery descent which eldest described later as technical which means you spent most of it going down sideways which was great fun. Back to the road and a blast home along the straight, I quite like this Sunday off lark, lie in, coffee and read the newspapers, go ride a bike with your son and get muddy, happy days.

Muddy and happy....

....sunny days,Oh Where have you gone?......

A Sunday off which is a rare and precious thing due to the constraints of my shift system at work. I could go out with the club but eldest had promised he'd come for a spin with his old man because it's been a while since we last did. The sun was shining whilst I ate breakfast and waited for eldest to emerge from his slumber as I didn't want to wake a teenager too early, they can be savage beasts.

I was thinking to myself last night about the pain and frustration that must be felt by someone who is suffering from something you can't see or understand and can't be cured with a magic pill. You start to feel a bit frustrated yourself at your inability to help but I guess just supporting someone is all you can do sometimes.

We thought it might be chilly so layered accordingly, I won't draw any analogies between myself and the logo of a certain tyre manufacturer as I resemble it without extra clothing so enough said. Eldest doesn't like the cold, he must have had three layers on his legs, two pairs of socks and a woolly hat to keep out the chill. Right on queue it started raining, it must be me, I don't recall any particular big fibs when I was seventeen but I guess we've all told a little white lie somewhere down the line. As always I had a plan but that went out the window as eldest didn't fancy heading up onto the moors if it was lashing down, he doesn't like getting wet either. We decided head across country to Porlock along the back lanes which has some nice lumpy bits to keep things interesting. Of course it had started to brighten up now, waterproof off for the first time, so we headed down to the Weir to put some miles in and decide from there which way to go.

It had turned a bit grey and cloudy down at the Weir so we decided to head for home, waterproof back on, I was spinning along quite nicely but eldest was hanging back a bit. I had to stop and wait for him on the straight into Minehead, turned out he really wasn't feeling it today so he headed home and I decided to do a lap of the town, two hour rule and all that. It was sunny back in Minehead, waterproof off again, so I did the flat bits on the seafront which was busy and back home.

Nice to be out with eldest again even though he wasn't feeling it but it's been a while since he went out on the road bike. I felt good again, once the lungs had warmed up, two weeks off soon so hopefully plenty more opportunities to get out and about.

Here's the Strava bit...http://app.strava.com/activities/26899181